Brush with Danger

When we break up with someone, we can’t help but wonder when we will run into that person again. When will that awkward moment happen? Where will it be? What will we say? Will we ignore each other? And most importantly, what will we be wearing?!

Well, ladies and gentlemen… I made it seven years, but I knew that that moment was going to happen… and happen when I least expected it (cause isn’t that always the way) and sure enough… it did.

I ran into HurtLocker a few weeks ago! After seven years!! Can you believe it?

If you’ll remember, the last time I saw or heard from HurtLocker was when he proposed to his other girlfriend behind my back on Christmas Eve. No big deal… not an awkward split or anything! (for the whole story, refer back to ‘Don’t tell my heart, my acky breaky heart’).

So after we split, all those years ago, it was easy to avoid each other and I was pretty sure we would be able to successfully do it forever. I lived in San Diego at the time and I only visited our home town, which is where he lived, and so I figured I could probably go about my business and never see him again. Unlike with SinkinShip (another one for the record books) It worked in my favor that HurtLocker actually wanted to run into me LESS than I wanted to run into him. That helped matters immensely. Even during those unavoidable events like the county fair, I never even caught a glimpse of him. And as you may remember, if you read that blog, Hurt’s mom and my mom happen to be best friends. And so needless to say, there have been many events in which Hurt and I SHOULD have run into each other by now, but knowing that I would very likely be there… he has stayed away. I can’t be sure it’s because of me… but he is used to having very ghetto girlfriends and I’m pretty sure that he doesn’t realize I won’t try to fight him if I do run into him. But either way, I’m grateful.

Now, HER… that’s a different story. She made it a point to run into me. If she thinks I might be there, she makes an appearance. But don’t worry, we successfully avoid each other by pretending the other doesn’t exist. It’s mature I know. I wish I could say that I’m brave enough to be the bigger person, but the last time I tried, she tried to fight me… so yea.

Either way, finally the run in happened after seven years of avoiding it. And you will NOT believe where and how!!

Like I mentioned, it was easy to avoid each other when I lived in San Diego. And then by the time that I moved back home to Northern California, he and his lovely new wife had already moved to Arizona so I figured that I was spared the inevitable awkwardness! Of course I knew that there would be times when we would both be visiting home, like the holidays, but I also knew that the chances were just so slim that I could rest easily.

Well, last October, he and his new family (two little girls) moved back to Woodland, but as you all probably know… I now live in Nevada! Or at least I try to live in Nevada! Either way, it just seemed so perfect as if God himself were trying to keep us from ever having to relive the pain of seeing each other. And I say ‘pain’ only because what else do you call it? It’s painful, I mean come on.

So since I only kind of live in Nevada and I’m at my mom’s probably at least half of the time because of work, I have been just waiting for the run in. I have just felt it coming. And I haven’t even seen this guy in so long that I was hoping maybe I wouldn’t recognize him or maybe he wouldn’t recognize me or something amazing like that. There are lots of grocery stores, not that he would ever do any shopping, and there are enough good restaurants that I thought maybe, just maybe, we could keep this avoiding up.

To be honest, even though I don’t have any idea as to what kind of car he drives, I kept imagining that we would see each other across the intersection at a stop sign. You know when you’re passing someone and you just catch their eyes for just a moment. Sometimes you know who they are (if you live in a small town), but mostly it’s just a glimpse at a stranger. Well, that’s how I thought we would have our run in.

But no. It was much more personal, and could have been INCREDIBLY awkward!!

We shared a flight!

Can you believe it? After seven years… with all the planes that are flying to and from ALL the places in this world… he and I would just so happen to be on the SAME flight together? I mean come on… what on earth are the chances of that? And why was he in Vegas?

So when I say it COULD have been much more awkward than it was, I mean that I think he saw me first and avoided me. If he hadn’t (cause I certainly didn’t see him) we could have sat down right next to each other at the airport, or even worse… ON THE PLANE without realizing it until it was too late! Can you imagine? And entire flight trapped on row over from you EX!? Blah!!

I didn’t see him until we were at the baggage claim after the flight home from Vegas last month. Lucky for me, I hadn’t been drinking in Vegas and I had actually taken the time to look cute for my husband who would be picking me up from the airport, despite how tired I was. I was also with friends, which automatically gives me extra cool points (I mean, who flys with friends?). AND Burny was there, which I was glad about as well, even though my face turned red and I had to tell him why.

We were standing at the carousel, waiting for our bags to roll by. Well, Burny was standing at the carousel for me. I was standing back talking to a group of my Arbonne ladies. And then suddenly, I happened to glance over at the group of people standing around… people from OUR flight… and I saw his profile. That’s it. His profile, and my heart literally sank. He was wearing baggy, comfy clothes and a beanie, and I had never seen him in a beanie. As I tried to examine him closer to confirm my suspicions, I realized that he had hair coming out of the bottom of his beanie. The Hurt that I knew always kept his hair really short. Could it really be him? I was 100% sure of it. My heart couldn’t possibly have reacted to a stranger in such a way. And as if I needed any more evidence, he pushed his sleeves up to reveal two completely tattooed arms. He didn’t have all these tattoos when we were dating, but I had heard that he completed two sleeves in the seven years since. It was him.

And let me just say that my heart dropped not because of heart-break… my heart dropped out of embarrassment and awkwardness! I was suddenly terrified that the moment had come and what if he talked to me, what if we made eye contact, what if, what if, what if. I was panicing!!

Even thought I was sure, I called my good friend Chon over to get a second opinion.

“Is that HurtLocker over there?”

She looked. She considered. And keep in mind it had been about seven years since she had seen him too. But she didn’t know him like I did.

“No… I don’t think so.”

“For sure it is.” I said, now more sure than ever.

“Was he on our flight?” She said, appalled.

“He’s at our carousel!” I answered. She nodded. It was just too weird. I mean really, what are the freaking chances?

So now that the awkward moment had arrived, I had to take stock. What was I wearing? How did I look?

I was wearing skinny black jeans, flats, a black tank and a red cardigan. Not too bad. My hair was done, although I wished I would have left my bangs down instead of putting them up, but I could deal with that. At least my hair was clean. I had friends with me, I had my husband with me. Could be worse!

Then I remembered how awkwardly I had been sleeping on the plane… but I figured it was unlikely that he noticed. By the looks of it, he was totally unaware of me.

And then the final nail in the coffin hit… I knew that I couldn’t have gotten in and out of this run in so cleanly…

I remembered standing in the Las Vegas airport… very clearly right by the gate where everyone was lining up. I was talking very animatedly to some of my team about the event we had just been a part of in Vegas when one of the girls across the terminal yelled at me:

“Hey MWC! You’re coat is buttoned wrong!”

Yep, I had miss buttoned my coat. It had been a long weekend in Vegas and I was tired and I was rushed and I had been walking around the airport for at least an hour with the buttons down the front of me totally off and awkward!

Blah!!

Oh well, at least I didn’t have food on my face or something!

So Hurt got his luggage and left and that was that. He never even so much as glanced over at me. He gave me no indication that he had seen me or that I had seen him. Does it even count as a run in if you don’t run in? If he didn’t see me… was it real? It’s one of those tree falls in the forrest kind of things…

When I got home, I told my mom that I had THOUGHT that I had seen Hurt at the airport coming home from Vegas. I was still pretty sure that it was him, but I had no idea (other than the obvious) as to why he would have been in Vegas… and if he was there for pleasure, why he would be flying HOME on a Friday! But still, I thought it was funny and having survived it, I figured it was worth mentioning.

Last night she came home from work and informed me that it had, in fact, been him. And yes, he had seen me. And yes, he had reported it to HIS mother as well. Gotta love small towns.

So yes, after seven years, the inevitable run in with an ex is still a very real, and very frightening possibility. So beware! Even when you think it’s over… is it? Is a break up ever really over? Or does it just keep haunting you? The bad ones seem to never end…

Good luck to all you ladies who think you have avoided your fate!

Old, old wooden ship

So it’s official.

I’m old.

I knew 27 was going to be borderline… I mean, I’m now in my late twenties. It’s funny how that works. 20-23, you are in your early twenties. 24-26 are mid and then starting with 27… you’re in your late twenties. There is no MID about 27. I mean, we might as well just round-up and call ourselves pre-thirty.

To be honest, although I joke that I’m getting old, I hadn’t really given it TOO much thought until the world started throwing it in my face! All of the sudden it’s as if the world is telling me to run inside and get a face lift! I mean, lately I’m hung over no matter what I do. I get tired before 2am. I find myself in pj’s on Saturday nights. I hardly make any reckless decisions… it’s just like “ok world… I see what you’re trying to say!”

But before I go into that, I have to say that there is one un-ignorable ‘clock’ that has been ticking away, louder and louder each year, since about age 24, but I am hoping to quite that down here soon enough. And yet something tells me, even when I do become a mother… I’m not going to feel any younger.

But regardless…

The first time I knew I was officially getting old was back in Texas. I kind of talked about this in my Sept. 11th blog but it bares repeating. When Burny was in tech school in San Angelo, you can imagine that it was flooded with 18-year-old kids, fresh out of high school. Burny and I were in our mid twenties still at that point, so we were the old kids on the block. I mean, it was really a struggle to think of what to do with people who couldn’t go to bars. What did I used to do? I couldn’t think of a single thing!

It was during a conversation with these underage kids that I realized, they were in 6th grade when Sept. 11th happened. They could hardly remember it! I was in college. If that doesn’t make you feel like you are in a whole different generation, I don’t know what will.

A while after we moved home from Texas, I performed in the musical: The Adventures of Tom Sawyer. I was actually asked to join the chorus after casting because they were short on voices so when I went to the first reading, I was painfully aware of that fact that I was going to fall into a weird age bracket.

There were the 15-year-old, high school kids playing Tom Sawyer, and his friends. There were the adults in their 50’s cast to play the parents of said kids… and then there was me. The twenty something who didn’t fit in either group. Too old to be a kid… to young to be old.

I sat down next to a girl who seemed to have found herself in the same predicament. She was quietly sitting on her own and she looked to be about my same age. I was relieved to see that I wouldn’t be the only one feeling out of place.

As we began to read through the script, I struck up a bit of a whispered conversation between myself and the twenty something next to me. We were both chorus so we didn’t have any lines. We were just there for looks basically.

About half way through the reading I realized that the story line in the play was strikingly similar to the movie plot of the 1990’s film: Tom and Huck.

I leaned over to share my findings with my new, twenty something friend. I said, “This play is exactly like the movie ‘Tom and Huck’.”

“What movie?” she asked.

Clearly she just hadn’t heard me. ‘Tom and Huck’ was a pretty well-known movie when I was in jr. high school. Namely because of its leading actor: Jonathan Taylor Thomas.

I leaned back into her and said, “‘Tom and Huck’ with JTT!”

And then she said something that just BRANDED my age so plainly across my forehead that I could feel the burn…

“Who is JTT?”

Say WHAT?

Who is JTT??? Come on! I mean, how do you describe who JTT is without a BOP magazine for evidence. I have to admit that it did occur to me at that point that BOP magazine likely no longer existed, and that didn’t help my cause much.

I said his full name to her in one final hope for recognition but it was clear to me. She wasn’t my age at all. There was just no possible way.

“He was in Home Improvement,” I tried…

Still nothing. Not one ounce of recognition in her face. Not even for ‘Tim the Tool Man Taylor.’

Finally, after a few minutes of consideration she came back and slapped me in the face again…

“I think I’ve seen re-runs of that show. Which one is JTT?”

I just left it alone. I couldn’t explain it. There was no point. I asked her age. 17. Sigh. She looked so mature…

The final blow came just the other night. I mean, there have been several ‘you’re getting old’ moments in my life since turning 25, but this one the other night really sealed the deal. I believe it’s official now and I’m not quite sure what to do with it.

I’m 27 now, obviously. I went to a Halloween party on Friday dressed as a Red Headed Slut. Burny went as Mike’s Hard Lemonade:

I have to tell you that when discussing costumes with my 23-year-old friend she said: “I’m too old to be slutty for Halloween.”

Hmm… perhaps I should have reconsidered my costume at that point, but instead I decided that I looked dang good! Not just for 27 but for any age! I was going to celebrate that! I was going to be slutty! I was going to wear my boots and show cleavage and I was going to rock it out! And that is just what I did.

So, once at the party I quickly realized that married couples must not regularly go out. Everyone was asking me if Burny was my boyfriend…

“You could say that.”

We’ve been married for 2 1/2 years… it’s just not something I’ve been asked in a while. And then the real kicker happened…

I was talking with this girl about make up. I had never met her before and I guessed (correctly this time) that she was probably in her early twenties. She mentioned college and I said something back about ‘when I was in college’ and then she looked at me very strangely…

“How old are you?” She asked appalled. I mean, it wasn’t like she was a young guy I was trying to deceive into thinking I was some hot young thing… it was a girl and we were talking about make up. I wasn’t aware I should have said my age before sitting down.

“I’m 27… can I still sit and chat??”

“Seat’s taken!”

So I answered her: “I’m 27.”

Her eyes widened, she tossed her head back in surprise (and a little bit of disgust I have to admit… like she could catch the late twenties) and she said:

“Wow… you look great! What do you use?”

Really?

I mean… really??

First of all… how old am I supposed to look by now?

What product do I use?

I was really thrown by that one. I didn’t know what to say. I felt like I should have given her the card of my plastic surgeon. It was the weirdest comment. And I can’t say that it felt good… Even though she really meant it as a complement, and I’m glad that I don’t look like I am really the ripe old age of pre-thirty, but still… the idea that I was old enough to have to use product to look this good… it hurt.

Perhaps I am too old to be slutty for Halloween.

Perhaps I’m too old to be going to parties…

But maybe… perhaps not too.

And by the way… if you’re wondering… I use Arbonne of course!

A pirate’s life for me

Imagine it…

I’m sitting in a boat that seats 4 across and there are about 7 rows. I’ve been instructed to keep my hands and arms inside the boat at all times.

No matter what.

I mean, to be fair, they don’t really specifically mention the feet or legs, but the message was clear enough to me.

So we are floating along, D’Monk and I (among others), and things are going well. There are fireflies and a banjo and I’m feeling overall really relaxed.

There is a very specific smell…

Kind of like mold and chlorine. It sounds gross, but it’s really not. I love it. And whenever I smell it, wherever I am, I always think of this place and I smile.

Suddenly, there is a voice. It’s scary, I’m not going to lie. And it’s talking nonsense. Threatening me to be honest with you.

And then we are falling. I may or may not have put my arms up, even though they have advised us not to… and even though I can’t really see the roof.

What can I say? They have convinced me it’s nighttime in the Caribbean. I can’t accurately assess the risk.

So now we are totally transported. I mean I am there.

I hear singing… I see dead people. And not in a 6th Sense kind of way. We are talking skeletons. It’s legit.

There is a storm and I can feel the rain (nearly) and then we are in a bar and literally… a skeleton is drinking a beer and it is going right through him. I can see it. I mean, this place is totally crazy.

Anyway, so we are cruising along, and we go through this dark cave and the scary voice is back. I’m not sure what it’s saying, but again, it’s threatening and I’m starting to take it personally.

But before I can do anything, we find ourselves smack dab in the middle of a battle between two HUGE ships. We are talking swords drawn, words being exchanged and cannon balls flying from one side to the next. Granted, I can’t see the actual cannon balls but I do see the splashes and they are too close for comfort. It’s really dark and based on what I have been seeing thus far, I’m pretty sure these men have been drinking.

So after we make it through that nightmare, and I’m not even sure how we do it, we find ourselves in this little village where these mean men from the ships have taken hostages. It’s not pretty, let me warn you, but they are nearly drowning a man while his wife watches from a window above.

I mean, that’s just horrid.

And then…

…another voice cuts in. It’s not the same scary voice as before. No, this time it’s a woman and it seems rather out of place. As a matter of fact, all the yelling and threatening and lovely singing these mean men have been demonstrating stops dead at the sound of her voice… But one thing remains the same. It’s still threatening…

“Keep your hands and arms inside the boat at all times.”

And as soon as she is done talking… the singing, yelling and carrying on picks up as if there has been no interruption.

It happens so quickly I’m not sure that it really did happen at all. But it doesn’t take me long to get swept back into the moment with the drowning man.

And then, just around the bend we see another mean man from the ships and he is auctioning off women, if you can believe that! I mean, I really thought we were past that in this country, but to be honest, I’m pretty sure we are now near Spain or something based on the accents.

So this guy is very rudely auctioning off this overweight woman who is tied to him, like she is truly a slave, and then I realize something…

We’ve been watching this auction for quite some time. The men across the river seem to be making bids, but the auctioneer does not seem to be taking anything.

As a matter of fact, he is repeating himself…

Something is very wrong here…

And then the voice again:

“Please stay seated at all times”

And again the music and uproar quit as if perfectly in sync with the woman’s voice. And as soon as she is done speaking… it’s back to business as usually.

But now we are being bumped from behind. Other boats, having just avoided the same terrible fate we have just escaped between the dueling ships, are running into us. One after another after another. And we are stopped because the boats in front of us are stopped as well.

What are the chances that so many of us would survive such a situation?

And then the voice:

“Stay in your boats at all times.”

Okay, lady, we get it! Trust me, I’m in no hurry to get out of my boat under the circumstances. I mean, there is truly a war happening around us.

“Stay in your boats!”

This time she means it.

D’Monk turns to me and laughs. “Do you think someone got out?”

Who can know for sure?

Suddenly, we see two teenage kids run across the bridge in front of us. What the F is going on here? They certainly did not seem to be dressed like their friends and MAN were they moving quickly. Compaired to the other pirates that is.

And then, without warning, the lights go on!

Yes! It’s true! Turns out we were not at all in the Caribbean and it was not even NIGHT TIME as we had been led to believe. As it would happen, we were ACTUALLY in what appeared to be a warehouse!

And although the music, talking, yelling, etc had stopped, the angry men from the ships had not.

They moved around ever so slowly, and ever so silently. And I can promise you this… those guys are A LOT more frightening in the light than they are in the assumed Caribbean darkness. They have CRAZY eyes and literally, they move incredibly oddly.

Well, before we know it… another man, dressed in the same uniform as the men who helped us board all that time ago, passes along the same route as the kids had. In pursuit, I’m sure.

And at this point, honestly, I’m beginning to wonder if anything is real at all…

The voice:

“Please get back in your boats- stay in your- DO NOT get out of your boats.”

“Oh God,” D’Monk says, laughing.

“Please stop running around and return to your boat.”

“Please do not do that. Please get back in your boats. Stop running. Stop running and return to your boat.”

Talk about ruining the magic.

With the lights on… the woman’s voice… and the kids running around…

I am 99% sure that these scary ship men are all just actors and they aren’t even really at war!

Consider my mind blown.

Well, needless to say, the teens either returned to their boats or were tackled by the wannabe pirate and the lights go back off and everything returns to normal in the Caribbean.

But I have to be honest… I just could not get back in the mood after that. I just doubted everything I saw from that point on. Everything really does look different by the light of day…

I mean… it’s pretty silly to think that one man could balance so many hats on his head or that an entire building could be burning around us and I wouldn’t feel any heat… I guess I should have thought of that anyway, but it was all so clear to me now…

And I had this odd suspicion that I was being watched…

I’m still not completely sure what happened to me that night… or day… but it was very strange.

And that’s why I blog…

I can’t imagine too many other people have seen the Pirate’s of the Caribbean with the lights on. 🙂

One year ago today…

One year ago today

We didn’t expect you

but you were coming, even still

One year ago today

We had no way of knowing

how much you were already loved

One year ago today

You were there

the biggest surprise of our lives

I will never forget your arrival

Suddenly, there you were in my arms

I didn’t know what to do

What to say

What to feel

But you were here

Ready or not

You came so fast

No time to think

to prepare

But I remember the look in her eyes

There was never a question

You were so pink

from your screaming eyes to your clenched toes

So slippery

I’ll never forget that

You were tiny

but I knew nothing could be wrong

I had no idea what to do

But I did my best

You were crying

and I was so relieved

Music to my ears

Answers to my prayers

I wrapped you in a towel

and you fit there

You hardly weighed a thing in my arms

I wanted to be a Mom more than anything

I was jealous

I was scared

I was in awe by you

One year ago today

You came into this world

And you changed it

One year ago today

You didn’t exist

and then so suddenly,

you did

One year ago today

A miracle happened.

I was there.

I saw it.

One year ago today…