Old, old wooden ship

So it’s official.

I’m old.

I knew 27 was going to be borderline… I mean, I’m now in my late twenties. It’s funny how that works. 20-23, you are in your early twenties. 24-26 are mid and then starting with 27… you’re in your late twenties. There is no MID about 27. I mean, we might as well just round-up and call ourselves pre-thirty.

To be honest, although I joke that I’m getting old, I hadn’t really given it TOO much thought until the world started throwing it in my face! All of the sudden it’s as if the world is telling me to run inside and get a face lift! I mean, lately I’m hung over no matter what I do. I get tired before 2am. I find myself in pj’s on Saturday nights. I hardly make any reckless decisions… it’s just like “ok world… I see what you’re trying to say!”

But before I go into that, I have to say that there is one un-ignorable ‘clock’ that has been ticking away, louder and louder each year, since about age 24, but I am hoping to quite that down here soon enough. And yet something tells me, even when I do become a mother… I’m not going to feel any younger.

But regardless…

The first time I knew I was officially getting old was back in Texas. I kind of talked about this in my Sept. 11th blog but it bares repeating. When Burny was in tech school in San Angelo, you can imagine that it was flooded with 18-year-old kids, fresh out of high school. Burny and I were in our mid twenties still at that point, so we were the old kids on the block. I mean, it was really a struggle to think of what to do with people who couldn’t go to bars. What did I used to do? I couldn’t think of a single thing!

It was during a conversation with these underage kids that I realized, they were in 6th grade when Sept. 11th happened. They could hardly remember it! I was in college. If that doesn’t make you feel like you are in a whole different generation, I don’t know what will.

A while after we moved home from Texas, I performed in the musical: The Adventures of Tom Sawyer. I was actually asked to join the chorus after casting because they were short on voices so when I went to the first reading, I was painfully aware of that fact that I was going to fall into a weird age bracket.

There were the 15-year-old, high school kids playing Tom Sawyer, and his friends. There were the adults in their 50’s cast to play the parents of said kids… and then there was me. The twenty something who didn’t fit in either group. Too old to be a kid… to young to be old.

I sat down next to a girl who seemed to have found herself in the same predicament. She was quietly sitting on her own and she looked to be about my same age. I was relieved to see that I wouldn’t be the only one feeling out of place.

As we began to read through the script, I struck up a bit of a whispered conversation between myself and the twenty something next to me. We were both chorus so we didn’t have any lines. We were just there for looks basically.

About half way through the reading I realized that the story line in the play was strikingly similar to the movie plot of the 1990’s film: Tom and Huck.

I leaned over to share my findings with my new, twenty something friend. I said, “This play is exactly like the movie ‘Tom and Huck’.”

“What movie?” she asked.

Clearly she just hadn’t heard me. ‘Tom and Huck’ was a pretty well-known movie when I was in jr. high school. Namely because of its leading actor: Jonathan Taylor Thomas.

I leaned back into her and said, “‘Tom and Huck’ with JTT!”

And then she said something that just BRANDED my age so plainly across my forehead that I could feel the burn…

“Who is JTT?”

Say WHAT?

Who is JTT??? Come on! I mean, how do you describe who JTT is without a BOP magazine for evidence. I have to admit that it did occur to me at that point that BOP magazine likely no longer existed, and that didn’t help my cause much.

I said his full name to her in one final hope for recognition but it was clear to me. She wasn’t my age at all. There was just no possible way.

“He was in Home Improvement,” I tried…

Still nothing. Not one ounce of recognition in her face. Not even for ‘Tim the Tool Man Taylor.’

Finally, after a few minutes of consideration she came back and slapped me in the face again…

“I think I’ve seen re-runs of that show. Which one is JTT?”

I just left it alone. I couldn’t explain it. There was no point. I asked her age. 17. Sigh. She looked so mature…

The final blow came just the other night. I mean, there have been several ‘you’re getting old’ moments in my life since turning 25, but this one the other night really sealed the deal. I believe it’s official now and I’m not quite sure what to do with it.

I’m 27 now, obviously. I went to a Halloween party on Friday dressed as a Red Headed Slut. Burny went as Mike’s Hard Lemonade:

I have to tell you that when discussing costumes with my 23-year-old friend she said: “I’m too old to be slutty for Halloween.”

Hmm… perhaps I should have reconsidered my costume at that point, but instead I decided that I looked dang good! Not just for 27 but for any age! I was going to celebrate that! I was going to be slutty! I was going to wear my boots and show cleavage and I was going to rock it out! And that is just what I did.

So, once at the party I quickly realized that married couples must not regularly go out. Everyone was asking me if Burny was my boyfriend…

“You could say that.”

We’ve been married for 2 1/2 years… it’s just not something I’ve been asked in a while. And then the real kicker happened…

I was talking with this girl about make up. I had never met her before and I guessed (correctly this time) that she was probably in her early twenties. She mentioned college and I said something back about ‘when I was in college’ and then she looked at me very strangely…

“How old are you?” She asked appalled. I mean, it wasn’t like she was a young guy I was trying to deceive into thinking I was some hot young thing… it was a girl and we were talking about make up. I wasn’t aware I should have said my age before sitting down.

“I’m 27… can I still sit and chat??”

“Seat’s taken!”

So I answered her: “I’m 27.”

Her eyes widened, she tossed her head back in surprise (and a little bit of disgust I have to admit… like she could catch the late twenties) and she said:

“Wow… you look great! What do you use?”

Really?

I mean… really??

First of all… how old am I supposed to look by now?

What product do I use?

I was really thrown by that one. I didn’t know what to say. I felt like I should have given her the card of my plastic surgeon. It was the weirdest comment. And I can’t say that it felt good… Even though she really meant it as a complement, and I’m glad that I don’t look like I am really the ripe old age of pre-thirty, but still… the idea that I was old enough to have to use product to look this good… it hurt.

Perhaps I am too old to be slutty for Halloween.

Perhaps I’m too old to be going to parties…

But maybe… perhaps not too.

And by the way… if you’re wondering… I use Arbonne of course!

Know how I know I’m old?

Today is my birthday.

The big 2-7!!

It’s going to be a big year, I’m sure of it. If you are a reader of my blog you know that this is officially the age that I thought I would be having children. LoDown reminded me today that 27 is the age when our eggs start to die off. Women actually start to become infertile at the age of 27. Great. I guess I better get on that. But I can’t help but feel that I am doomed before I’ve even began… 

Just had a thought… what happens when I turn 30? Will I have to change the title of my blog? Hmmm…

Anyway, because it’s my birthday and I am officially turning old, I thought that I would share my day with you. It’s the start of a very important chapter of my life… I can feel it. And I can promise you that being in my LATE twenties will still provide both you and I with many laughs and many adventures. It’s not over yet. I may be approaching 30 but I am still a twenty something.

Today, was a very lovely birthday. And because TODAY was a lovely birthday, I know that I am getting old. Today I woke up at 10am to 13 text messages and 2 voice mails… all with wonderful birthday wishes. Now, again, if you know me you know that my work day does not start until 10am so if you did not get a response… that’s why.

Side bar- I feel like this might be the last year that my day is able to start at 10am. Once kids are in the picture, I know that’s out the window.

First item of business as a 27 year old: Pick up dog poop. Wednesday is the day our lawn mower people come and to be honest, I haven’t been so kind to them in the pick-up-the-poop department so I figured I would do them a favor and clean up after my little man.

Second thing I did was make a protein shake. Yes, I am officially old when I have to get myself on a cleanse diet just to get my body working the right way again. Trust me, I can’t eat like I used to. And I certainly can’t drink like I used to. I really feel like I put my SDSU education to shame when I get these hang overs now… Sad times.

Next I watched two episodes of ‘Say Yes to the Dress’. I love this show. It’s a weakness I have. Even though I am already married and quite happy to have all the wedding mess behind me, I still enjoy watching other women try on their white dress and spend WAY too much money on something they will only wear once. It’s like a drug. Usually I limit myself to one episode before I get to work, but hey… it was my birthday today.

After two episodes, which put me right around noon, I headed up stairs to the office. As I walked up the stairs I found a very unexpected birthday gift from my puppy Harper. He had chewed up my pillow case and brought it out to the top of the stairs so I would be sure to see it. How kind. Of course he was nowhere to be found… and this was quite unexpected considering he hasn’t chewed up anything in at least 3 months… hmm… I guess to a dog, that would be quite a gift. So I forgave him that. I felt much better about the situation when I checked my email and facebook where I had 64 waiting birthday wishes!! 64 by noon!! Thank goodness for facebook reminding everyone that it’s my birthday! I really felt quite special! I was very touched by the amount of people who took the time just to write a happy little note. Lovely start to the work day.

Then I made all my phone calls… the one’s I had been putting off… but I figured that on my birthday I wanted to feel accomplished. And yes, after checking off ALL the items on my to-do list, I closed up my business day around 3pm. I had showered somewhere in between calls and invite making… so by 3 I was already ready to hit the road and run some errands.

I hit up the dry cleaning across the street only to find out that they are closing in 2 weeks! Sad day!! Now I will have to go all the way across town for my dry cleaning… strike that… for Burny’s dry cleaning. So that was kind of a bummer. On the way across town, I stopped at the post office and mailed out some samples (I guess the work day wasn’t done after all). And then I headed home to find that Harper had left me yet another birthday gift, that thoughtful guy. This time he had chewed up the plastic piece on the corner of my bed. What was going on?? But again, I felt much better when I returned to my facebook page to see that I had at least 20 more birthday wishes. I have to say… this birthday in particular was the most widely recognized it would seem. EVERYONE sent me their love. It was wonderful.

At around 4pm, I turned on a recorded call for work (okay… so work wasn’t done at all) and swept and mopped my floors. I also dusted, and cleaned the burners in my kitchen. And after the call was done, I vacuumed. It was at this point that I realized Harper had ripped up 4 new holes in the lawn. He was really on a roll with these birthday gifts for mom… Kind of over kill really.

At 5 I got the mail where 2 birthday cards were waiting… with money!! Got to love that. Nice timing too… I’m terrible at that. And then I got a delivery from the UPS man with ALL of my Holiday products for Arbonne. It was like Christmas on my birthday. I knew it was coming of course, and I had paid for it so technically it wasn’t a gift, but man did it feel like one.

At 6pm I came downstairs to find Harper chewing on one of the brand new Arbonne product that I had just taken out of the box. By then I was livid!! I mean come on!!!!! It was time for the crate. We haven’t been crating him for some time now, and ironically enough, we had taken the crate down and put it in the garage THIS morning… but alas, it didn’t last long out there. He is still a puppy it would seem.

At 7pm I crated Harper and took myself to a movie: Eat Pray Love. It was great. It really got me thinking about traveling and how lucky I am to have been where I’ve been and seen what I’ve seen. It left me feeling very content with where I am, which is good because where I am is oldsville!

So how do I know I’m old?? Well… today was a great birthday. Getting work done, cleaning, eating absolutely no mexican food or drinking any alcohol… and still it was a good day. That’s how I know I’m old.