I realize it’s been a while since I’ve posted… As you might imagine, having a new-born is somewhat time-consuming. There were 200 things on my list of ‘to do’s that I had to cross off before I could justify sitting down to write, but here I am… back again.
I have SO much to write about; There have been numerous joys and adventures in the six weeks since I’ve become a mother, but I want to talk first about the final month of my pregnancy so that I don’t forget to document anything!
It was rough, I won’t lie. By the end of that nine (TEN) months, all I wanted was to have that baby (boy or girl) out of me! I had stopped wondering whether it would be a he or a she, what color hair or if there would be hair, what color eyes… I was over it. I just wanted to know the answers. And although I DO NOT regret keeping the sex a surprise, by the end of the pregnancy, I was really wishing that I knew who to expect. However, it was the most wonderful surprise, and I highly recommend not finding out the sex to whoever you are, first timer or otherwise, because it was so wonderful imagining and dreaming and wondering. And the surprise was so great!
I had a beautiful baby girl, if you don’t already know, and we were all pretty convinced by the end that it would be a boy. Imagine my surprise. 🙂
My swollen feet continued until the very end, although they did let up some. It wasn’t until she came out that I realized just how thin my legs actually were! I guess I had gotten used to the swelling and wasn’t sure just what was weight and what was swell. Let me tell you, I’ve lost 25 lbs of swell, but there is still at least 20 lbs that I’d be happy to give back. It’s pretty incredible how your body is just kind of left in ruins after giving birth… but don’t let that scare you. The reward is obviously more than worth it…
My heartburn also continued until the end, but I got more and more used to that as well so it bothered me less and less.
And lastly, the kicking… although it did let up some in the last month due to lack of space in there, when she did kick, it was duly noted. The night before I had her, I had to lay down just to keep her from cracking a rib. It was pretty impressive. Don’t worry, she kicks just as spiritedly on the outside as she did on the inside!
In that final month, I only had one new symptom to report… one that I thought I would avoid and definitely gave my best effort to keep away from… the inevitable stretch marks! They say there is nothing you can really do about it. If you’re going to get them, you’re going to get them. No lotions, potions or oils will prevent it, but boy did I try. I lubbed up so well every single night starting from the very beginning. I drank water. I did all the things they say to do. And if she would have come about 10 days early, I would have avoided them entirely, but that last week and a half just got too cramped and there was no where left to go but through the skin. It’s quite sad, I assure you. Every morning I woke up to a few more and a few more… it wasn’t until she was born that I realized just how noticeable they would be… but alas, I’m maimed.
Don’t worry! I have a really great stretch mark cream from none other than Arbonne that my clients swear by so stay tuned for the before and after photos. And don’t miss my new weight loss before and after photos as well. I just started my shakes (which are perfectly safe while breastfeeding) yesterday so we’ll see how that goes! My goal is to be back to normal by April, with a giant head start by Christmas if all goes well. We shall see!
So as you’ll remember, my due date was Oct 9th, but the C-section date was planned for Oct 4th.
The week before my due date, I had a doctor’s appointment and he checked my cervix. For my male readers or women who have yet to have kids, ‘checking the cervix’ entails reaching your entire arm up ‘there’ to see how dilated the mother is. Well, I THOUGHT my cervix was somewhere down near my vagina, but apparently it’s in my neck. Or at least that’s what it feels like when they “check” you. It’s not comfortable, let me tell you. I can only imagine what it would have been like to have a kid come out! And to think, I wanted a natural birth! HA! God bless you women who went drug-less. I got a taste of labor and I was over it real fast!
So when my doctor checked me, he said that I was 1 to 2 cm dilated. That’s not uncommon at 38 weeks but because I was so far along and so giant, he told me that I might not make it to my c-section date. He actually said “You have a 50/50 chance of making it to Oct 4th.” 50% chance is not too settling for a first timer, let me tell you. That means 1/2 the time I’ll have the baby early! I thought the whole point of planning a c-section, was the PLANED part! No surprises! Yea right!
Burny and I assessed the situation that night. My doctor was very open when he said that he is not on call on the weekends. If I happened to go into labor on the weekend (and there were two left before my c-section), then he would not be the one to deliver me. Not only would that mean that a perfect stranger would be delivering my baby but my doctor and I had a plan! My Doc, let’s call him Dr. McSubway (and I’ll tell you why in a sec), knowing that I had originally hoped for a ‘natural delivery’ wanted to do everything he could to give me as natural of an experience as possible. He was going to allow the baby to stay in the delivery room with me, even though that was against protocol. Protocol would have the nurses take my husband and the baby to the nursery while I was stitched up after the surgery. Protocol would have them stay there while I spent an hour alone in recovery! But Dr. McSubway was awesome. He was going to allow me to keep the baby with me every step of the way. He was all for letting me breastfeed as soon as possible, despite my needed recovery. And if Dr. McSubway wasn’t going to be my doctor… there was no promise that my ‘birth plan’ would go off the way I had hoped.
So with all that in mind, Burny and I still decided that it would be best if I tried to hang in there until my c-section date. Oct 4th was only 4 days away from my expected due date, but if we were to reschedule to have it even earlier, there might be unexpected consequences of her coming TOO early. So despite the haggling of our parents to reschedule so that we don’t get the ‘B team’, we decided to hang in there and wait. And I have to say it just cracked me up that our parents were so worried about me getting another doctor because let’s face it… it’s only because I was planning a c-section in the first place that I had any idea of when or how or by who my baby would come to begin with! But anyway…
Oct 4th was a Tuesday… so not the weekend RIGHT before but the weekend before that, Burny’s parents came to visit. They figured it would be their last chance before things got crazy… and boy were they right. Well, thank goodness they happened to be in town, because guess what? That Saturday night, I went into labor! Go figure! As soon as Dr. McSubway said that he wouldn’t be available on the weekend, I literally said out loud “Well, you jinxed it… I’ll be going into labor this weekend.” So whether he jinxed it, or I jinxed it, I was in labor. But I didn’t really realize it at first…
But before I head down that road, I want to explain why I’m calling my Doc, Dr. McSubway…
As you know if you’ve been reading, I had originally planned a natural birth in a tub in Northern California. So for 30 weeks of my pregnancy, I was seen by midwives in Davis, Ca. At 30 weeks, we decided (with the aid of three consultations) that a c-section was necessary and so we then also decided that giving birth 3 hours away from our home, was no longer necessary. The only reason we were there was because of their very low c-section intervention rate. Well, since that was out the window, I moved my little pregnant behind to a wonderful hospital about 20 minutes from our new home in Nevada. MUCH more convenient to bring a new baby home to the place where all the baby stuff is, let me tell you! Now that she is here, I can’t imagine having had to spend more than an hour with a new-born ANYWHERE other than my own home… let alone in a room at my moms! (No offence Mom!)
So on the Wednesday before my Thursday appointment, Burny and I had lunch at Subway around the corner from our house.
On my Thursday appointment, the very FIRST time I had ever seen or met Dr. McSubway, the moment he opened the door to come in and meet us for the FIRST time, he took one look at us and said:
“You guys were at Subway yesterday…”
I was completely thrown off guard. No ‘hello’ or ‘I’m so and so’, just subway! Now, not only could I hardly remember lunch at Subway, I could not for the life of me figure out how someone I had literally never seen before would know that I had Subway! And furthermore, that Subway was by our house and the appointment was 20 minutes away…
Anyway, as it turned out, Dr. McSubway has lunch every single Wednesday at that particular subway because every Wednesday, he conveniently works at the Carson outpost hospital about a block from our house! And although I would have no cause to notice him in the small restaurant, he reminded me that he notices every ‘about to deliver’ pregnant girl he sees… it’s his job. SO needless to say, he recognized us and it was random and we joked about it every time after that!
So… I’m in labor… secret labor though, because I wasn’t immediately aware.
That Saturday, as I mentioned, Burny’s parents were in town. So we went out to eat and we drove around and well, I forgot to drink fluids. When you’re pregnant, staying hydrated is paramount! Especially at the end. Dehydration is the number one cause of pre term labor towards the end and so I had been making a conscious effort (because in regular life I don’t drink NEARLY enough!) to stay hydrated. Well, that Saturday, I just plain forgot! I just did not drink enough. And I didn’t even really notice until I was going to bed. I remember turning off all the lights and saying to Burny,
“I didn’t drink enough today.”
I grabbed a glass of water and headed off to bed. No big deal. Or so I thought…
About 1am, 2 hours later, I woke up feeling sick to my stomach. Not sick to my stomach like I would normally feel sick… more like PAIN in my stomach that made me want to throw up. But it wasn’t coming and going like contractions do so I didn’t immediately associate the two things. And because I had been having Braxton hick contractions (which are practice contractions that cause your stomach to firm up but don’t really cause pain) like crazy, I knew that this was not that. This was different from ‘practice contractions.’ But quite frankly, I was very convinced that it wasn’t contractions at all. I thought I was sick. I thought it was something I ate.
And so I got out of bed and paced the room. I turned on the tv, I drank water and I sat by the toilet. I really thought I was going to throw up and I don’t EVER throw up. If you know me, you know my body doesn’t really do that. So it was very unusual. So despite the water or the walking or the hoping for it to go away, it did not. I even tried to rock in my rocking chair, which is a cure-all for me, and even that just made me feel worse. FINALLY, I woke up Burny. I told him that I was having pain in my stomach but I didn’t think it was labor or anything… I just wanted company, really.
So after waking him up, I got in the shower… that way if anything happened to me in there, he would at least be aware of the situation. In the shower, the hot water was able to calm me down enough and cause me to relax enough to really feel the coming and going of the intense contractions. They weren’t regular or anything, but they were definitely there. I spent about 30 minutes in the shower and then I got back in bed and Burny and I started to time the contractions. Dr. McSubway told me to come in if I had more than 10 in an hour.
For three hours straight they were about 4 minutes apart, and they were not pretty. They hurt. I finally dragged Burny out of bed so I could go rock in my chair in the living room and he could sleep on the couch. I remember just walking around the living room, having to lean over the counter every time one hit and just moaning through them. I couldn’t help but think ‘thank GOD I do not have to do this the whole time!’ Again, God bless you women who go through that for hours without meds. I was only 3 hours in and I was not happy!
Burny called the hospital and they told us to come in. By that time it was about 4:30am. I even woke Mrs. KateeKat up to have a mother of 4 confirm or deny by ‘labor’. She said ‘Looks real to me!’ and so we were on our way! I got to the hospital at about 5am, just in time for my contractions to taper off…
They checked me in, took a pee sample and hooked me up to the monitors. They confirmed that I was having contractions but that I was still only dilated to 1 to 2 cm. My pee told her that I had been dehydrated but it looked like I had recently hydrated (chugged water) so she thought that that was the cause of my early labor… but since it had slowed down, she sent me home.
On the way home I definitely felt like ‘that girl.’ Every first time mom wonders when she will go into labor, what it will feel like and when she will know if it’s time… and every first time mom worries that we will be the dumb ass going in with indigestion. So yea, I definitely felt like a bit of an idiot! But needless to say, I was grateful that I still had that last week and that my family would, in fact, make it to the birth in time, and that my Doc would be the one doing the deed… or so I still hoped.
I still had one more weekend to get through.
I made it through the week with only a few contractions here and there. Every night when I went to bed, though, I was sure that they would start up again. But they did not. On Wednesday, Sept 28th, I had my last appointment with Dr. McSubway before my pre-op on Monday.
He seemed surprised to see me but was glad that the week had gone well after my visit to the hospital. He said it happens a lot and assured me that I wasn’t an idiot but I wasn’t so sure.
He checked my cervix again and told me that I was definitely 2 cm at that point but that the baby was ‘fully engaged.’ Sounded pretty serious to me too! So I had to ask. What the heck is ‘fully engaged?” It means the baby ‘dropped’ and is basically in position and ready to come out! And in case you’re wondering, that’s exactly what it feels like… a baby’s head sitting in your crotch! Again, he seemed even LESS confident that I would make it through the weekend. He kind of laughed when he told me the name of the on call doctor. He still said there was a 50/50 chance that I would make it till Oct 4th, but this time I knew he really didn’t believe that himself. He thought I was going in for sure!
Friday morning, MacTen- my bestie- flew into Sacramento. So Burny and I made our way down the hill to pick her up, but not before stopping at the fire station to pick up some towels… just in case of any water breakage. I nearly cried when I saw my best friend, whom I had not seen in over a year. She gasped at my tummy because she had obviously not seen me as a pregnant mommy to be. It was a great moment and I felt very blessed that I was going to have her with me through this very intimidating process. When I envisioned having my baby, I always envisioned her there…
The next morning, the completion of our thressome- Raps- flew into Reno and so we went up to pick her up and the circle was complete. At long last, my girls and I were back together… little did I know, there was about to be a fourth girl up in the mix.
Having them there finally put me at peace. It was as if this weight had been resting on my shoulders and even though I had a weekend to get through before I was going to be delivered by my Doctor, I knew that should anything happen, at least I would have my girls. If anyone knows how to calm me down and make me laugh… it’s MacTen and Raps! It was just perfect.
Sunday evening, my mother made her way up the hill. And Sunday evening, with the assurance that MY Doctor would be the one doing the deed, I started initiating labor in any and every way possible. Why? Because some part of me would just feel better knowing that she was naturally ready to come out and we weren’t going in to get her too early, ya know? So I wanted to be in labor just to be sure she was cooked all the way! Thank God for google! MacTen and Raps had me eating hot sauce, and walking the neighborhood. But we really kicked it into high gear on Monday when I was really free to have her without any problems. We must have gone on at least four walks, spiced my food like crazy, ran around, did dance moves, exercises, bouncing, laughing… anything we could think of (or the internet told us to do) that would get things moving naturally.
My pre-op with Dr. McSubway was short and sweet but rather funny. He actually admitted that he not only truly thought I would go into labor over the weekend, but that he actually called the on call Doctor and told him exactly that. He said he did NOT think he would be seeing me on Monday… but alas, the little lady stayed in there!
And on Monday afternoon, on one of my many walks, the contractions started…
They weren’t regular by any means, but they were there… and by Tuesday morning when I checked into the hospital, they were happening 5 minutes apart… she was ready… and so was I!
By Monday night, the night before her grand arrival, I had a house full of people! MacTen and Raps were there of course, along with my mother and father and step mother. And of course there was Grammy (Burny’s grandmother) and last but not least, my dear sister, D’Monk.
And as we all sat around and ate dinner that night (they ate tri-tip, I had soup… due to the surgery), everyone unanimously agreed that we would be meeting a boy the next day! 🙂 This is the great fun of a surprise! And because we were not telling anyone the names we had picked for either sex, there was a lot of discussion about that as well. It was just so pleasant to have my favorite people around me the night before I became a mother. And I’ll never forget the looks on MacTen and Raps faces… just so excited.
That night, after dinner, I took a nice relaxing bath. I didn’t cry, although I was very emotional… I just couldn’t quite wrap my head around what was about to happen. I was nervous, anxious, excited, overwhelmed… and very, very happy. Ever since I was a little girl I knew that I was meant to be a mother. Not every girl thinks about it in that way… some grow into their maternal side, but I always dreamed about it. I wondered what it would be like to carry a baby, to feel it kick, and to meet it on it’s birthday. I had always wanted it… it was my biggest of all dreams… and it was about to come true. I couldn’t believe it.
And just when I thought I couldn’t have been more lucky or more at peace with all that was happening in my little bathtub… in came my husband and my two best friends. I know that sounds strange to you, but it was just what I needed. Three of my most favorite people to come laugh with me and share my thoughts.
That night I went to bed, with my unknown baby kicking away, and I actually slept. Not ALL night, but I slept. Can you believe it? With all the nerves and excitement to come… God must have known I would need it. 🙂
I woke up at around 6:30 and got in the shower. I debated putting on make up, since I knew it would be a very photographed day, but I opted out of it. I wanted to meet my baby all natural! 🙂 After my shower, I actually got back into bed and rested for a while. I just looked at my sleeping husband and marveled at what was to come. It’s pretty incredible that love can grow another life. I can’t help but say it out loud every single day to him… that we made a human!
The first person I saw that morning was MacTen.
“You look calm!” She chimed. I was. I was ready.
Everyone was awake and milling around. They got to eat breakfast, I couldn’t even have water… and I remember thinking that I was going to be starved by the time the baby came… little did I realize, they didn’t want me to eat the whole dang day! Hello, I’m pregnant!!
Although we were prepared in every other way, Burny and I waited until the morning of to install the car seat in the Mercedes. And let me tell you, those things are NOT self-explanatory! We were digging our hands in the leather, pulling safely belts all over the place, pulling and tugging on the dang car seat base and in the end, we had to call for back up with MacTen because she has three nieces and nephews! And alas, even she was not sure how to put the dang thing in! It was confusing because there is a ‘safety feature’ that causes only the bottom of the car seat to latch into the base, while the top part of the car seat is free to flip up. I know that sounds weird, but apparently, it absorbs the energy of a wreck and is better on the baby. After nearly an hour of messing with it, and 20 minutes on youtube, we decided that we would let the nurse figure it out when it was time to bring the baby home.
So at long last, it was finally TIME.
My Mom and sister followed us there, Grammy stayed with our dogs, my dad and step mom met us there and MacTen and Raps rode in the car with us…
I’m not going to lie… it was an emotional ride. I may or may not have ugly face cried behind my sunglasses, but only out of pure joy. I played a few songs that I knew would conjure up some really amazing moments in our lives together and then… I played ‘For Good’ from the musical Wicked. I won’t go into it, but that song holds a lot of weight and it wasn’t exactly fair that I played it that morning. I reached back and grabbed their hands and we laughed and cried our way to the hospital.
….. and my little lady just woke up so I have to end this blog here… tune in soon for the birth of my perfect baby lady.
Adventures of a twenty-something! 