Top 13 break up songs…

… In no particular order!

I did a LOT of driving over the past weekend and of course that equals a lot of music!! And then of course music makes you think of memories, and unfortunately I’ve had my fair share of break ups, which equals lots of songs that remind me of break ups… and basically long story short is: I know the best break up songs of all times. And since I have no more use for them as I have subscribed to the union of marriage for life… I felt that I should share them with you all in hopes that they bring you the same clarity that they have brought to me in the past!

Again, these are in no particular order… with the exception of the final song. The final song is THE BEST BREAK UP SONG OF ALL TIME! It applies to any and all break ups. It doesn’t matter if you are the one doing the breaking or being broken. It still applies. It’s magical in that way. So if all else fails… that song should be your fail safe.

SONG NUMBER 1:

This song so perfectly captures the day after a terrible break up. You’re half angry and half devastated and completely lost. I remember listening to this song and feeling better knowing that someone else had not only gone through it… but survived it.

“The Brilliant Dance”- Dashboard Confessional

So this is odd,
the painful realization that has all gone wrong.
And nobody cares at all,
and nobody cares at all.

So you buried all your lover’s clothes
and burned the letters lover wrote,
but it doesn’t make it any better.
Does it make it any better?
And the plaster dented from your fist
in the hall where you had your first kiss
reminds you that the memories will fade.

So this is strange,
our sidestepping has come to be a brilliant dance
where nobody leads at all,
where nobody leads at all.

And the picture frames are facing down
and the ringing from this empty sound
is deafening and keeping you from sleep.
And breathing is a foreign task
and thinking’s just too much to ask
and you’re measuring your minutes by a clock that’s blinking eights.

This is incredible.
Starving, insatiable,
yes, this is love for the first time.
Well you’d like to think that you were invincible.
Yeah, well weren’t we all once before we felt loss for the first time?
Well this is the last time.

SONG NUMBER 2:

God, this song sucks to even think about.  When I broke up with Sinkin’Ship after realizing that he did, in fact, have another girlfriend… it still took me a while to completely break myself away from him. I ‘relapsed’ as I call it a few times before I could stop myself. By that I mean I wanted to hate him… I wanted to forget him. I wanted HIM to KNOW that I was over it. But I just couldn’t. I just wasn’t. And I slept with him even after I knew what he had done. I still believed the lies. I wanted to. And it was maddening. I was so mad at myself. I was so angry for not being stronger. Somehow he just kept me on the hook! This song is so perfect for that…

“Bike Scene”- Taking Back Sunday

I’ll leave the lights down low
so she knows I mean business
And maybe we could talk this over
Cause I could be your best bet
Let alone your worst ex
And let alone your worst…

I wanna hate you so bad
But I can’t (but I can’t) stop this
anymore than you can

So honestly, how could you say those things
when you know they don’t mean anything
And you know very well
that I can’t keep my hands to myself,
hands to myself

I wanna hate you so bad
But I can’t (but I can’t) stop this
anymore than you can

This is all wrong and it shows
There’s certain things I promised not to let you know,
(You’ve got a silly way of keeping me up on the edge of my seat,
You’ve got a silly way of keeping me up on the…)
not to let you know
I never, never…

You’ve got this silly way
of keeping me on the edge of my seat
But you’re only counting the clock against the train
And I’m miserable, oh
(You’ve got a silly way of keeping me up on the edge of my seat,
You’ve got a silly way of keeping me up on the…)
And you’re just getting started
I’m miserable, oh

You’ve got me right where you want me
(let’s never talk) Let’s never talk, let’s never,
let’s never talk about this again because…
I didn’t want it to mean that much to me
I didn’t want it to mean that much to me
I didn’t want it to mean that much to me
I didn’t want it to mean that much to me

Anyway… yeah

SONG NUMBER 3:

The first time I heard this song was post Sinkin’Ship. I had finally ripped myself away from him completely. Time had passed. The wounds didn’t feel so fresh. But I still knew that the only thing that would make the pain go away entirely was if he would just take me back. Not just take me back, but GO BACK to the way it was before all the non-sense. I loved him. I loved him and we were happy, weren’t we? It all gets so foggy after the dust settles. The pain seems far away and the good stuff seems worth revisiting… even though you know it’s not. Even though the good stuff was never that great. And when you’re standing there and the only thing that will make you feel better is him… and you know that’s not the right thing… this is the song for you.
“Rescued”- Jack’s Manneguin

Two to one
Static to the sound of you and I
Undone for the last time
And there this was
Hiding at the bottom of your
Swimming pool some September
And don’t you think
I wish that I could stay
Your lips gave you away

I can hear it, the jet engine
Through the center of the storm
And I’m thinking I’d
Prefer not to be rescued

Two to none
Roads that lead away from this
I’m following myself just this once
And I got spun
It appears you’re spun as well
It happens when you’re paying attention
This could take all year, but

When it’s quiet, does she hear me?
Jettisoned to the center of the storm
And I’m thinking I
Prefer not to be rescued
Oh, I can feel her, she’s dying
Just to keep me cool
I’m finally numb, so please
Don’t get me rescued… rescued…

And it’s unclear
But this may be my last song
Oh, I, I can tell
She’s raising hell to give to me
She got me warm
So please don’t get me rescued
Oh, say you’ll miss me one last time
I’ll be strong, but whatever you do
Please don’t get me rescued…

‘Cause I’m feeling like
I might need to be near you
And I feel alright, so please
Don’t get me rescued…

SONG NUMBER 4:

 

I came across this song when I was studying at Oxford. My relationship with Sinkin’Ship was taking a major hit due to the distance but I was also realizing how much he and I were just growing apart. I was growing out of the relationship and I knew that he was blaming me. And of course, I was blaming him. And try as we might, we just couldn’t seem to get it right. I like that there is a hint of annoyance and anger in this as well. It’s almost sarcastic. So often we find ourselves feeling bitter at the end of a relationship, like it was pointless; a waste of time. Like it meant nothing.
“Absolutely Zero”- Jason Mraz

You. You were a friend. You were a friend of mine I let you spend the night
You see it was my fault. Of course it was mine.
I’m too hard at work. Have you ever heard of anything so absurd ever in your life.
I’m sorry for wasting your time.

See who am I to say this situation isn’t great? When it’s my job to make the most of it
Of course I didn’t know that it would happen to be… Not that easy.

Hey what’s that you say? You’re not blaming me for anything well that’s great
But I don’t break that easy. Does it fade away?
So that’s why I’m, I’m apologizing now for telling you I thought that we could make it
I just don’t get enough to believe that we’ve both changed.

See who am I to say this situation isn’t great? It’s my time to make the most of it
Of course I didn’t know that it would happen to be… Not that easy.
If all along the fault is up for grabs why can’t you have it
If it’s for sale what is your offer, I’ll sell it for no less than what I bought it for
Pay no more than absolutely zero.

Well neither one of us deserves the blame because opportunities moved us away
And it’s not an easy thing to learn to play a game that’s made for two that’s you and me
The rules remain a mystery. See it can be easy.

See who am I to say this situation isn’t great? It’s our time to make the most of it
How could we ever know that this would happen to me, not that easy, no
When all along the fault is up for grabs and there you have it
If it’s for sale what is your offer, I’ll sell it for no less than what I bought it for
Pay no more than absolutely zero.

SONG NUMBER 5:

In the case of this song, for me, ‘Anna’ is HurtLocker. He started as my friend. A friend that I went on a date with. I went into that relationship with my eyes wide open. I knew exactly what to expect. It wasn’t going to be serious. It was going to be casual. He made it something else. He said I love you. He made us exclusive and he made us serious. And then, before I knew what had happened, I was in love. I had fallen for him against my will and without even realizing it. I had tried to keep my head on straight but it just didn’t end up that way. And after all that time of looking at the relationship with my eyes open… I realized that it had all been a dream. My eyes were shut the whole time. I didn’t see it coming at all. And then… he was gone. Just like that. He changed his mind.
“Anna Begins”- Counting Crows

My friend assures me “it’s all or nothing”
I am not worried- I am not overly concerned
My friend implores me ” for one time only,
make an exception.” I am not worried
Wrap her up in a package of lies
Send her off to a coconut island
I am not worried – I am not overly concerned
with the status of my emotions
“oh”, She says, “you’re changing.”
But were always changing
It does not bother me to say this isn’t love
Because if you don’t want to talk about it then it isn’t love
and I guess I’m going to have to live with that
but, I’m sure there’s something in a shade of gray
or something in between
and I can always change my name if that’s what you mean
My friend assures me “it’s all or nothing`
But I am not really worried
I am not overly concerned
You try to tell your self the things you try to tell your self to make
yourself forget
to make your self forget
I am not worried
“If it’s love” she said, “then were gonna have to think about the
consequences”
She can’t stop shaking and I can t stop touching her and…..
This time when kindness falls like rain
It washes her away and Anna begins to change her mind
“these seconds when I’m shaking leave me shuddering
for days” she says.
And I’m not ready for this sort of thing
But I’m not gonna break
And I’m not going to worry about it anymore
I’m not gonna bend. And I’m not gonna break and
I’m not gonna worry about it anymore
It seems like I should say “as long as this is love…”
But it’s not all that easy so maybe I should just
snap her up in a butterfly net-
Pin her down on a photograph album
I am not worried
I’ve done this sort of thing before
But then I start to think about the consequences
Because I don’t get no sleep in a quiet room and…
The time when kindness falls like rain
It washes me away and Anna begins change my mind
And every time she sneezes I believe it’s love
and oh lord…. I’m not ready for this sort of thing
She s talking in her sleep-it s keeping me awake
And Anna begins to toss and turn
And every word is nonsense but I understand and
oh lord. I’m not ready for this sort of thing
Her kindness bangs a gong
It’s moving me along and Anna begins to fade away
It s chasing me away.
She disappears, and oh lord I’m not ready for this sort of thing.

SONG NUMBER 6:

This song is the feeling you get when you’re fresh out of a break up. You just feel devastated like you’re a failure. You feel like you did all you could and it didn’t matter. It sucks. “When you love someone but it goes to waste. Could it be worse?” Killer!

“Fix You”- Cold Play

When you try your best, but you don’t succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can’t sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can’t replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you’re too in love to let it go
But if you never try you’ll never know
Just what you’re worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down on your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down on your face
And I…

Tears stream down on your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down on your face
And I…

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you.

SONG NUMBER 7:

I love the imagery in this song. The idea that he/she has just moved out. The world is still happening and you’re just lost. The first line of the song: “Where are we? What the hell is going on?” Isn’t that just how you feel when your relationship ends? ‘Crop circles on the carpet’… I remember when I left Sinkin’Ship… my furniture left marks in his bedroom floor… “Oily marks appear on walls”… where the pictures have been taken down. It just strikes me as so sad. So empty. And yet the song is beautiful. It’s poetic.

“Hide And Seek”- Imogen Heap

Where are we? What the hell is going on?
The dust has only just begun to fall,
Crop circles in the carpet, sinking, feeling.
Spin me round again and rub my eyes.
This can’t be happening.
When busy streets a mess with people
would stop to hold their heads heavy.

Hide and seek.
Trains and sewing machines.
All those years they were here first.

Oily marks appear on walls
Where pleasure moments hung before.
The takeover, the sweeping insensitivity of this
still life.

Hide and seek.
Trains and sewing machines. (Oh, you won’t catch me around here)
Blood and tears,
They were here first.

Mmm, what you say?
Mm, that you only meant well? Well, of course you did.
Mmm, what you say?
Mm, that it’s all for the best? Because it is.
Mmm, what you say?
Mm, that it’s just what we need? And you decided this.
Mmm what you say?
What did she say?

Ransom notes keep falling out your mouth.
Mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut-outs.
Speak no feeling, no I don’t believe you.
You don’t care a bit. You don’t care a bit.

Ransom notes keep falling out your mouth.
Mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut-outs.
Speak no feeling, no I don’t believe you.
You don’t care a bit. You don’t care a bit.

You don’t care a bit.
You don’t care a bit.
You don’t care a bit.
You don’t care a bit.
You don’t care a bit.

SONG NUMBER 8:

This song helped carry me out of my break up with HurtLocker. I was so mad. He didn’t even try to get me back. In a lot of ways I think this was the kindest thing that he ever did. But I just broke it off and walked away and he didn’t come after me. He didn’t even try to explain. Not that I would have taken him back, but it would have been nice to know that he cared; that he missed what he had lost. I just felt like I meant nothing. Like there was nothing I could do to get him to notice me. He was just over it. We didn’t even get to have a fight. “And I can still be ruthless if you’d let me”. But at the same time… to this day… I feel like he will never forget me. I will always be that one, ya know…And that’s his torture. “The rising tide will not let you forget me.”

“Ruthless”- Something Corporate

This is the only lonely picture
Waiting on my floor littering my shore
This is the last true burning letter
Given to a girl
Written by a boy
Living in a world
Created to destroy

But if I built you a city
Would you let me?
Would you tear it down?

But there you go for the last time
I finally know now what I should have known then
And I could still be ruthless if you let me
But there you go when I’m not done
You’re waving goodbye well at least you’re having fun
The rising tide will not let you forget me
forget me

This is your ghost that kneels before me
Razors on her tongue, a body full of oxygen
It won’t be the last time she’ll ignore me
Thinning in my skin
Without the strength, to go
Winter setting in
To cover you in snow

But if I built you a city, would you let me in?
Would you tear it down?

But there you go for the last time
I finally know now what I should have known then
And I could still be ruthless if you let me
But there you go when I’m not done
You’re waving goodbye well at least you’re having fun
the rising tide will not let you forget me
forget me
forget me
forget me, yeah

I’ll raise towers and climb them
Rivers and walk them
Oceans to drown in
you won’t make a sound in

But there you go for the last time
I finally know now what I should have known then
And I could still be ruthless if you let me
But there you go when I’m not done
You’re waving goodbye well at least you’re having fun
The rising tide will not let you forget me
forget me

SONG NUMBER 9:

If you’ve never seen the movie “Once”, watch it. It’s fantastic. Especially if you are a music lover. And this song is from the soundtrack. It reminds me of that moment when whoever it is ends the relationship for one of the cheap clichés: “It’s not you, it’s me.” “I just need time… space.” When you’re so upset because you just feel cheated. It’s bullshit and you know it. You’re angry but you’re trying to be understanding. It’s full of emotion when you listen to the song so make sure you do that!

“Leave”- Glen Hansard (Once Soundtrack)

I can’t wait forever is all that you said
Before you stood up
And you won’t disappoint me
I can do that myself
But I’m glad that you’ve come
Now if you don’t mind

Leave, leave,
And free yourself at the same time
Leave, leave,
I don’t understand, you’ve already gone

I hope you feel better
Now that it’s out
What took you so long
And the truth has a habit
Of falling outta your mouth
Well now that it’s come
If you don’t mind

Leave, leave,
And please yourself at the same time
Leave, leave,
Let go of my hand
You said what you have to now
Leave, leave,
Let go of my hand
You said what you came to now
Leave, leave,
Leave, leave,
Let go of my hand
You said what you have to now
Leave, leave…

SONG NUMBER 10:

 This is that terrible moment when you know you can’t move forward but you don’t want to break up either. You’re stuck. You might already be in love, the other person might not be so sure. Maybe the other person isn’t ready to commit, or you’re not. Something is lacking and despite all the talking, you stand divided. “This is where you are, and this is where I am.” It’s like you just can’t come together. You’re somewhere between unsure if you should be there at all, and 100% sure that you should be. It’s maddening.
“Hundred”- The Frey

The how I can’t recall
But im staring at
What once was the wall
Separating east and west
Now they meet amidst
The broad daylight

So this is where you are
And this is where I am
Somewhere between
Unsure and a hundred

Its hard I must confess
I’m banking on the rest to clear away
Cause we have spoken everything
Everything short of I love you

You right where you are
From right where I am
Somewhere between
Unsure and a hundred

And who’s to say its wrong
And who’s to say that it’s not right
Where we should be for now

So this is where you are
And this is where I am
So this is where you are
And this is where ive been
Somewhere between
Unsure and a hundred

SONG NUMBER 11:

This song goes back to JayHans. First love. When it’s over, and you’re looking back at what was and what might have been, it seems so perfect. You can’t remember at all why it ended. There are so many memories. So many great times and you know that it was good. You remember the point where you decided whether you should stay or leave and ultimately you left. But why? “Stay or leave. I want you not to go, but you did.” And you start to question if you did everything that you could. Would it have worked if you would have just tried again. And by the end of the thought, you’re convinced you’ve made the wrong decision. If I had a quarter for every time I did this with JayHans… I’d be rich.

“Stay or Leave”- Dave Matthews Band

Maybe different but remember winters warm there you and I.
Kissing whiskey by the fire with the snow outside.
And when the summer comes
In the river swim at midnight (shiver, cold) touch the bottom
(stars are bright) with muddy toes

Stay or leave–I want you not to go,
But you should.
It was good, as good goes.
Stay or leave–I want you not to go.
But you did.

Wake up naked, drinking coffee, making plans to change the world
While the world is changing us.
It was good, good love.
And you used to laugh under the covers,
Maybe not so often now
The way I used to laugh with you was loud and hard.

Stay or leave—I want you not to go,
But you should.
It was good, as good goes.
Stay or leave—I want you not to go.
But you did.

So what to do with the rest of the days’ afternoon haze?
Well isn’t it strange how it changes everything we did?
Did I do all that I should—that I could have done?

Remember we used to dance and everyone wanted to be you and me? I want to be too.
What day is this, besides the day you left me?
What day is this, besides the day you went?
So what to do with the rest of the days’ afternoon haze?
Well isn’t it strange how it changes everything we did?
Did I do all that I could?

Remember we used to dance and everyone wanted to be you and me? I want to be too.
What day is this, besides the day you left me?
What day is this?

 

SONG NUMBER 12:

  

It’s amazing how when you find yourself fresh out of a relationship… the world keeps spinning. It’s somehow shocking to you that the world hasn’t ended. It feels like it’s ended, and yet, everything else seems normal. It’s such an internal contrast. One of my favorite lines in any theatrical play is from Harper in ‘Angels in America’. She says: When your heart breaks, you should die. So true.

  

“Without You”- Rent Soundtrack

 

Without you, the ground thaws, the rain falls, the grass grows.
Without you, the seeds root, the flowers bloom, the children play.
The stars gleam, the poets dream, the eagles fly, without you.
The earth turns, the sun burns, but I die, without you.

Without you, the breeze warms, the girl smiles, the cloud moves.
Without you, the tides change, the boys run, the oceans crash.
The crowds roar, the days soar, the babies cry, without you.
The moon glows, the river flows, but I die, without you.

The world revives
Colors renew
But I know blue, only blue, lonely blue, within me blue.

Without you.
Without you, the hand gropes, the ear hears, the pulse beats.
Without you, the eyes gaze, the legs walk, the lungs breathe.
The mind churns!
The heart yearns!
The tears dry, without you.
Life goes on, but I’m gone.
Cause I die, without you.
Without you.
Without you.
Without you.

 

SONG NUBMER 13:

 

No explanation needed.

 

“Konstantine”

I can’t imagine all the people that you know
And the places that you go
When the lights are turned down low
And I don’t understand
All the things you’ve seen
But I’m slipping in between
You and your big… dreams
It’s always you and my big dreams

And you tell me
That it’s over
But I can’t stand here in a patch of four-leaf clover
And your restless
And I’m naked
You’ve got to get out
You can’t stand to see me shaking
No, could you let me go
I didn’t think so

And you don’t want to be here in the future
So you say
The present’s just a pleasant
Interruption to the past
And you don’t want to look much closer
‘Cause you’re afraid to find out all the hope
That you had sent into the sky by now had… crashed
And it did because of me

And then you bring me home
Afraid to find out that you’re alone, no
And I’m sleeping in your living room
But we don’t have much room
To live

And I had dreams that I would learn to play guitar
Maybe cross the country
Become a rockstar
And there was hope in me
That I could take you there
But dammit you’re so young
But I don’t think I care
And if I hurt you then I’m sorry
Please don’t think that this was easy

And then you bring me home
‘Cause we both know what its like to be alone, no
And I’m dreaming in your living room
But we don’t have much room
To live

Konstantine came walking down the stairs
Doesn’t she look good
Standing in her underwear?
And I’ve been thinking, and I’ve thinking, no
But she’s been drinking
And it doesn’t get me anywhere

My Konstantine came walking down the stairs
And all that I could do
Was touch her long blond hair
And I was thinking, what I was thinking ya know
We’ve been drinking and it doesn’t get me anywhere

This is because I can spell confusion with a K
and I like it
It’s to dying in another’s arms
And why I had to try it
It’s to jimmy eat world
And those nights in my car
But this time I’m alone, and I don’t see those stars
I’m not your star?
Isn’t that what you said
What you thought this song meant
You thought this song meant

And if this is what it takes
Just to lie in my mistakes
And live with what I did to you
And all the hell I put you through
I always catch the clock it’s 11:11
And now you want to talk
It’s not hard to dream
You’ll always be my Konstantine

They’ll never hurt you like I do
No, They’ll never hurt you like I do
No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No

This is to a girl who got into my head
With all these pretty things she did
Hey Baby, You know that you keep me up in bed
It’s to a girl who got into my head
With all the fucked up things I did
Hey maybe baby, you could keep me up in bed
My Konstantine

Spin around me like a dream
We played out on this movie screen
And I said,
Did you know I miss you
Did you know I miss you
Did you know I miss you
Did you know I miss you
Did you know I miss you
Did you know I miss you
Did you know I miss you

God, I miss you

And then you bring me home
And we’ll go to sleep but this time not alone, no no,
And you’ll kiss me in your living room, oh
And you see, no, that I’ve been missing in my Living room
Cause this is what I miss, what I miss
We don’t have much room
I said, does anybody need that room?
Because we all need a little more room
To live

My Konstantine

Travel Light

Welcome back to Sisterhood of the Traveling Thursdays! This might just be my favorite day as my travels are my favorite memories!

Tonight I want to talk about a very interesting experience I had in London on my third trip to Europe, second trip to London. This story includes a character whom I have not yet mentioned, so she requires some back story. Stick with me.

Her name is PeppeLaBabs.

I met PeppeLaBabs under somewhat… unusual circumstances. One of my best friends, EMoney, whom I have known since Jr. High was my roommate for a time around 2006-2007. We lived in an amazing apartment overlooking the Bay in San Diego with her twin sister and good friend of mine, Dewip.

It was during this short, but eventful year, that EMoney decided that she liked girls. Now, as a theater person, I have been around gay people since before gay people existed so I of course had NO issue with this whatsoever. But it was the way in which she decided to like girls that got my blood boiling a bit.

This part of the story is a blog for another day entirely, but basically EMoney met this wonderful guy at a bar and started dating him. He charmed Dewip and I immediately, but apparently his sister was the real charmer for EMoney. LONG, CRAZY story short, EMoney ended up with the sister instead… the sister was PeppeLaBabs.

As the best friend, I was expected to become buddies with the new significant other. I will admit, with the way the relationship began, it was a challenge for me to let my guard down and stop judging them both for being so ridiculous, but after a short time, I grew to really enjoy PLB (PeppeLaBabs is officially being shortened).

She was very funny, very outgoing, very interesting, and very much a girl. This sets up a strange dynamic. When you are becoming friends with your best friends boyfriend, the boundaries are so clearly set up, but when the boyfriend is a girl, the boundaries are not so clear. For example, going to coffee with a friends new boyfriend might be a bit odd. But going to coffee with a girlfriend, which is how I saw PLB, is not strange at all. Well, basically, it was hard to figure out what I was and wasn’t supposed to be doing.

I invited Dewip, EMoney and by default, PLB to Vegas early on in the relationship. At first, all three girls were interested, but as it turned out, only PLB committed and went. This is of course another blog too, but my point is this: When the subject of ‘Who want’s to go to Europe with us?’ came up, and PLB said ‘Me!’ I didn’t think it would be too strange to include her on the trip. She had never been after all, and EMoney and Dewip were not able to go.

Whether this was inappropriate to do or not, I’m not sure… but don’t worry, I learned my lesson.

I’m going to give you the moral of this blog right up front: When traveling… anywhere… make sure you REALLY want to be with your travel mate morning, noon, and night, and make sure you REALLY know that person well, because there are no secrets in travel.

Well, to add just a tad more awkwardness to the situation, PLB and EMoney broke up before the trip. SO now I was taking my friends ex girlfriend to Europe. But I must also say that the other girls on the trip were MacTen, Raps and my sis D’Monk, so it’s not like I was going to be alone with her. It was clearly a girls trip and we were all ready to have fun.

Yea…

NIGHT ONE!

When you travel, particularly when you kind of throw together somewhat of an impromptu trip to Europe, the funds are never flowing like you would like. Everything must be crazy budgeted and you have to be smart about what you spend. Well, PLB started her trip with $100 less than I had told everyone was the minimum they should bring with them. That was not the best start, but hey, I figured maybe she was on a different budget than I was.

Day one in London, after doing the Big Red Bus tour which I swear is the best money ever spent, the five of us ran across London (no joke, we booked it) to catch this walking ghost tour we had heard about. And even though our running had paid off and we were not more than two minutes late, we had either missed the tour or the tour was a ghost itself, because there was no one at the meeting place. As a result, we decided to drown our sorrows of having missed the tour at a pub just up the street from where our tour beginning would have been.

This pub just so happened to be around the corner from Big Ben. The sun was setting as we went into the pub so I requested that after dinner and a drink, we go take a look at Big Ben at night. I had seen the clock, but never at night. I had seen pictures and I knew it was going to be extraordinary, but the whole point was that it had to be at night. The group agreed. The plan was set.

Or so I thought…

We ate dinner and with dinner comes drinks. And with drinks comes more drinks. And with more drinks comes budget out the window kind of drinking. I had a brilliant heart to heart with D’Monk, who I had wanted to bring to Europe since my first trip, Raps and Mac were chatting about their long friendship and PLB sat in the corner rather unsociable. She didn’t talk much. She went to the bar to order her drinks instead of ordering them at the table, which we didn’t realize until later was her way of drinking more than we could monitor.

Before we left the states I specifically asked the girls to always keep a low profile. If you have ever traveled abroad, you know that it is never in your best interested to be American. And of course being polite and respectful should have gone without saying, but I guess I should have said it anyway.

When it came time to leave, Mac did something that I will never forget. She had been doing a ton of babysitting leading up to the trip so she had a good $1000 more than the rest of us had to spend and she offered to cover the entire bill. She said that she had had such a great night and she didn’t want anyone to feel stressed or regret spending the money the next day, so she paid the tab of five very drunk girls. That is the kind of girl she is.

PLB, however, was about to show us just what kind of girl she really was.

We walked out of the bar and headed around the corner towards Big Ben as planned. I tell you, I was so excited. I had been mentioning it through out dinner and drinks and making the girls re-promise that we would in fact go see Big Ben at night, no matter what.

‘No matter what’ did not include PLB not being able to walk and shouting obnoxious things and being all around RUDE to passers-by on the street. I pulled the plug so fast on our excursion out of pure embarrassment. I could not believe she was acting like that. The rest of us made a quick decision to go ahead and spend even MORE money we didn’t have on a cab because we knew PLB would either puke or be thrown off the tube. This was of course right around the time that we were piecing together her ‘bar trips’ and counting the glasses on the table in our heads.

The cab takes us to the street where our hostel is, but there is still a block or so walk. Mac and I quite literally had to carry PLB down the street. Now keep in mind that London is not like Isla Vista in Santa Barbara. There was no one else being carried down the street. There was no one else screaming and making a scene. And I promise you, no one else on that entire street puked on someones doorstep… but PLB did. Mac, bless her heart, stood right there with me while I nearly cried out of hate, embarrassment and shame for my favorite city. Usually I am a good friend during these moments. Usually I am the girl who holds your hair back and scoops the puke out of the sink with my hand, but not PLB. Not when she had just thrown up on London!

We finally made it back to our hostel, and let me just remind you that hostels are usually shared. We had a six person room with only five of us, so there was an Asian gentleman, who spoke no English, who luckily had somewhat of a sense of humor about the situation. He could have easily complained to the front desk and had us kicked out.

Of course I was trying to explain this to PLB, but she was busy being a raging bitch. Oh yes, once we got back to the hostel, she went from crazy American girl on the street to rabid beast with a drinking problem. And most of her fury was aimed towards Mac and I, her rescuers. Raps and D’Monk… yea, they went to bed. Sorry guys… but ya did.

Mac and I, put PLB in the bathroom to finish what she started on someones doorstep and what does she do? She absolutely insists on takeing off her shirt. Lucky Asian guy, more aggravated me.

After about 20 mins of trying to convince PLB that she could not sleep in the bathroom, we decided that we were both about to strangle her and we needed to step out for a moment to gather our sanity. I put D’Monk in charge of the raging girl in her bra. We went downstairs and sat on the front porch of the hostel in our favorite city and talked about how people take us for granted. How we are the friends to have and how we really shouldn’t have invited that crazy bitch.

We were gone maybe 10 minutes. We returned to find Raps and D’Monk sound asleep in their beds. PLB was laying on her back with a mouth full of puke. Lovely. So we sat her up and of course more curse words and accusations and full on swings was all we got as a thank you.

Finally we drug her out of the bathroom and put her on the bed, despite her pushing, swearing and fighting us all the way. I have to say that at this point, I had joined her in the curses and violence. I had had it. I was crying, I was screaming, I was telling her in all seriousness that I would be taking her to the airport if she kept it up. And I meant it too. This was NIGHT ONE guys! I couldn’t even imagine another day with her, let alone 10!

But throughout all of this, Mac stayed very calm, cool and collected.

That is until PLB said and I quote: “THis is your fault anyway [Mac], you shouldn’t have bought all of those drinks.”

Remember how we all ordered everything before Mac offered to pay? Well, Mac remembered because she lost it and literally I had to grab her and pull her off of PLB. I had never and have not since seen Mac attack someone like that. It was like she had just been pushed too far. And it was amazing.

Of course at that point, D’Monk thought that it would be wise to involve herself and so she kicked Mac and I out. But on all accounts, that was fine by us. We took off down the street at a crazy pace that was more floating than walking really. We moved so quickly, crying and laughing with no destination in mind. But we knew once we saw it where we had been heading: McDonalds.

There are only a few times in life where McDonalds is a sight for sore eyes, but this was one of those times. Literally, my eyes were sore from crying. I can’t imagine what the other late night diners were thinking when they saw these two American girls burst in the door, make up running down their cheeks, laughing, gasping for air. But we couldn’t have even explained PLB given the chance.

To this day, I still CAN NOT BELIEVE a grown person could act that way. Swinging and cursing at the people who were just looking out for her. The people who invited her on this trip to begin with. Ever play that game ‘which of these things are not like the other?

‘

Well, if you would have played that with the five of us, PLB was clearly the odd one out that was just kind of a tag-a-long that we had included because we wanted to show her the world.

The next morning she acted like all was well. She even made a joke about how crazy the night had been. But the jokes ended when they were not well received. And then they really ended when we realized that Raps had lost her PassPort in the cab ride which we never would have taken had it not been for PLB.

The rest of the trip we all kept our distance from PLB. By the end of it, we even stopped going sight-seeing together. PLB ran out of money early on so she spent her days hanging around the hostels while we went on our adventures.

I did get to see Big Ben at night on that trip. It was breathtaking.

My favorite part of the whole night, looking back, was after we got back to the hostel and PLB was going crazy. The Asian dude got his English translation dictionary out and got our attention. He looked at us, looked at PLB and said:

“She Cwazy”.

I really couldn’t have put it better myself.