DAY FIVE AND SIX!!!!!!
I have to say… the most unusual things happen to me. I mean, isn’t that why I blog? I must just have a cosmic target on my forehead telling the world to play a joke on me! “Let’s see what she does with THIS!” It gets ridiculous.
I’m talking about Day six of this cleanse program, but to get to day six, I must first tell you about day five!
Okay so the only real change in my meals on day five was that my lovely husband cooked me a wonderful meal that actually tasted like it wasn’t even healthy. We had steak, which I am allowed once a week if I love steak- and I do- but it has to be natural, organic and free range. It was. And he cooked it in coconut oil, garlic and some spices. It was amazing. He also cooked veggies in the same stuff and so we had cooked spinach, bell peppers and chalets on the side! It was soooo good. I would eat that even if I wasn’t on this cleanse. So anyway, I used up my steak meal for the week, which at the time didn’t feel like that big of a deal… of course I could go another week without steak! Right? Well…. let’s just say it would have been nice to have that option on day SIX!
Day six:
Side note, we have a new puppy… he is like 11 1/2 weeks old and he is as much of a terror as he is cute. And he is VERY cute. We are trying to teach him to sleep in the crate at night, but of course he doesn’t like it. We have neighbors. It’s not a good combo. And the night before day six, it was windy. It’s always windy in Gardnerville, but on this particular night, it was frighteningly windy. I was literally scared that the window was going to blow in. I could hear it squeaking. And I could hear a loud banging throughout the night that I just knew was our garbage. That damn toder has a habit of blowing over in the wind, dumbing and then blowing all our garbage around the yard. It’s just great. So I was not sleeping well and not looking forward to morning. And the puppy was just scared and lonely and loud. SO it was quite a night, I assure you.
Well, when Burny went to work in the morning, he let the dogs (we have a loner dog from his parents right now too to help train the puppy… right) out to use the restroom. The puppy, who is really the only one we are worried about, immediately did his business… both businesses! Okay, so good. Burny thought it would be fine to just bring them both back up to our room to sleep until I woke up. So I had both dogs on the bed, which I quite enjoy. This was not the problem. Around 9am, the baby jumped off the bed and woke me up. When he does this, he usually wants to chew on something so I threw the covers off myself and jumped up to grab him. Well, in that 30 seconds, this little dog had left a HUGE present on the floor at the foot of the bed… AND he was chewing my sock. All this in 30 seconds. I was almost impressed.
So of course I freaked out and took him downstairs and opened the back door to let him out. Well, as soon as he walked out the door, I noticed that our back fence had blown down in the wind, leaving a clear getaway to the back alley for the dogs. Now keep in mind that I have just woken up. I sleep in underwear. I had nothing else on. It’s raining, and windy and now I have to go out and retrieve the dogs before they escape. SO yes, I did a quick run around in the yard collecting the dogs with no clothes on in the rain. Not the best way to start my morning. And then I had to go upstairs and clean up the baby’s lovely mess. While I’m doing that, I realize that the puppy had escaped into the garage. How? Well, my husband had picked up the garbage and dragged the toder in the house so that it wouldn’t blow over again, and he had tried to push it into the garage from the house, it wouldn’t fit, so he left it in the door frame to the garage. Brilliant plan!
Think all this is the cosmic joke that the world is playing on me? Oh no…
It was at about this point, when I went into the kitchen to get the cleaning supplies that I realized the power was out. Yes, the electricity. I literally cursed out loud. I had been awake all of 11 minutes and I am NOT a morning person as it is!
SO after I cleaned up the dog mess, got dressed, and jimmy rigged the back fence with our dog gate so the dogs could be outside, I went into the kitchen to figure out what to make myself. Of course no power means no blender. No blender means no shake. No power means no microwave, oven, stove… basically there was no way for me to MAKE myself anything. Great. This would totally happen to ME while I’m on this totally random diet.
But I thought, no biggie… the power will be on by lunch. So for my first meal I drank a ready-made Arbonne protein shake which I am so glad my husband made me buy. I also ate a half of an apple to just fill me up a little more and then I drank a fiz tab.
After complaining via text message to my friends about my predicament, I sat down to make some calls for work. I thought at least nothing would distract me from getting some work done, even if I didn’t have the internet. Well, no… my cell phone wouldn’t make or receive calls. Texts, yes. Calls, no. It was like furthering this sick joke. So now I was SURE that the entire day was going to be a total waste. At least work wise. But I did clean. I cleaned the whole house. And don’t worry, I turned on every light in every room when I walked in. I tried to vacuum. I tried to turn on the heat when it got freezing in the house. I even tried to run the dishwasher! I mean, come on! I felt like an idiot every time! We are such creatures of habit, and clearly we take electricity for granted!
Power was still not on by lunch, which I was pretty much counting on, so meal two was another ready-made shake with some carrots and humus (which I threw out because I am so sick of it now) and I added fiber to my shake. It was gross. By now the fridge had totally lost it’s cool and the shake was luke warm and the fiber was chunky having not been able to blend it better. Lovely.
Then the big dog threw up in the yard because he had eaten too much food- the exact opposite problem I was having- and it took everything I had to keep the puppy from eating the puke. It was so gross. I had to pick up the puke with a paper towel, and even then the baby ate a hole in the grass trying to get every last morsel. I just don’t understand dogs. On our hike the other day it was all we could do to keep him from eating the horse poop!
So by dinner, I couldn’t possibly even consider drinking another ready-made shake. It just wasn’t going to be an option for me. So I called NetherNetherLand because she had done the cleanse before, and she suggested that I go to In n Out and get a burger protein style because I was allowed to have steak once a week. Sounded amazing, expect I had JUST HAD STEAK! Cosmic joke! I brainstormed with my husband also, and he suggested I wrap some defrosted shrimp in spinach and eat it. That did not sound appetizing at all. There were plenty of sauces I could have made, had I have had a blender. I was really feeling like a hunter/gatherer… I mean, I had already read half a book and fallen asleep three times. What did they do back then???????
The final decision was that I had to go out and get something to eat that was already cooked. There was not going to be any fast food places that were going to be able to offer me food within my strict diet, so I grudgingly decided that I would have to cheat. But I was going to cheat as best as I could. Well, most of the town was still lacking power too so I ended up going to KFC. I know that sounds like the worst place in the world to go to, but here is what I got: I got 1 breast of grilled chicken, which I know they cook in oil so that was cheating, but I knew it was going to be better than jack in the box. I got a side of corn, no butter and no salt, so that was fine, and I got colslaw… which had dairy so that was cheating too. But hey… I bet if the cavemen had the option, they would go to KFC too.
When I got home and started eating my cheater food, the power came back on. Of course.
And to make matters worse, LOST was a rerun!
Things that are weird about my diet so far: I started my period mid cycle which I can only assume is because of my drastic change in diet. I guess that happens sometimes.
Things that are good about my diet so far: I can already see changes in my body. I don’t have a scale here so I can’t weigh myself, but my clothes are fitting differently and my body just looks different in the mirror! Pretty cool. I am also finding that my skin is clearing up. I struggle with acne and chest acne, and it’s nearly all gone. I always thought that it might be food related…
So today is day seven. One week down!
Tags: 28 day program, adventure, Arbonne, balanced meals, bell peppers, carrots, chicken, cleanse, corn, detox, fiber, food, health, health food, healthy living, humorous, humus, inspiration, life, life lessons, Master cleanse, meals, mishaps, onions, people, power outage, protein, protein shakes, spinach, steak, true stories, twenties, Vegan, vegan protein, vegetables, veggies, weight loss, writers
Adventures of a twenty-something! 